How Long Should Sex Last? 

Is there an average length for sex? Does everyone going to bed with you expect a certain timeframe? 

What is the Average Sex Length?

Now let’s move on to the main question – how long does sex last on average?

The answer would depend on the type of sex we’re talking about. The penetration, on average, takes between 5 to 8 minutes according to different studies. 

Oral sex performed on male genitalia is similar in length, whereas oral sex on female genitalia can last for up to 20 minutes before the woman reaches an orgasm. 

If we consider the “full course” that includes foreplay, kissing, undressing, and cuddling afterward, then the average duration starts at about 15 minutes and goes up to 45-50 minutes. 

There’s no right or wrong sex duration, everyone’s experience is different. Instead of focusing on the numbers, make sure you both prioritize pleasure and connection and make those minutes count. 

What Influences How Long Sex Lasts 

So much goes into why and how we have sex. Your mood, the emotional bond or lack thereof with your partner, past experiences, stress, and many more factors play a role in how long someone’s sex is going to last. 

#1 Stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety levels will often result in someone not wanting to have sex at all or having it just to please their partner. When you have a thousand things going on and everything’s overwhelming, it becomes really hard to prioritize sexual pleasure over basic needs, such as sleep, food, and just wanting to be left alone in peace. 

Also, stress sometimes leads to faster ejaculation, making the entire sex process shorter. 

#2 Biological factors

If modern life stress isn’t enough, we also have biology that is influencing our sexual life, and not always in a good way. 

Age often makes us less horny, so sex is happening less often, but at the same time, older men can take longer to ejaculate as they’re not as easily excited as their younger selves. 

Hormones are a whole different story. They orchestrate not just our sexual desires but how we live and feel ourselves in general. An imbalance can push you off and affect both stamina and desire. 

#3 Physical strength 

Someone who’s in better shape, exercises regularly, and has strong muscles, and chooses healthier nutrition options tends to last longer in sex and be more creative with positions and locations. 

When you’re physically stronger, your endurance is helping you make the most out of your intimacy and have a wonderful time with your partner. 

#4 Health 

In addition to physical strength, overall health plays a big role in how long sex lasts. 

Chronic diseases, taking certain meds, being limited in mobility, etc, – all that will play a role in how long sex lasts. Medication tends to postpone ejaculation and it can also make orgasm more difficult, essentially forcing you to have sex for longer. 

#5 Alcohol and substance use

If you’re consuming alcohol or something else, it will usually affect your performance. For example, ejaculation may be postponed which would be considered a good side effect if you’d like to extend your sex play. At the same time, your sensitivity can go down too, meaning that you’ll have sex for longer but it won’t be as enjoyable. 

You win some, you lose some. 

#6 Comfort with your lover

Something else that plays a big role in how long your sex will last and how much of it you’ll enjoy is the overall happiness, comfort, and safety that you feel with your partner. Being strongly connected on emotional and psychological levels typically means that you can count on prolonged experience in the bedroom. 

#7 Experience 

Sex is not a sport or a skill, but you can definitely get better at it with time. The more things you try and experience, the more confident you feel, and the more tricks and techniques you can implement to extend the pleasure. 

With experience comes the ability to pace yourself and slow down or switch to a different position or game if things are getting way too hot too soon. 

Tip: extended foreplay is another way to postpone the ending and enjoy sex more. There are many things you can do as a part of foreplay too, so it’s a great way to extend sex, try something new, and experience a different type of pleasure. 

 #8 Time of day 

Sex is often reserved for late afternoons, right when you’re about to head to bed. While it’s understandable why that is traditionally so, it’s also the time when we are most tired from the day and can feel fatigued. 

Having sex at that time and condition can feel like a final task before you can go to bed and enjoy the much-deserved sleep. In that case, sex is rarely seen as an art form, and there’s a goal to just do it, be done with it, and move on.  

Morning or daytime sex is something most people enjoy on vacations or weekends, but trying to squeeze a little sexy session into your morning routine or an early afternoon can make a world of difference. 

Should You Worry About How Long Sex Lasts?

Ultimately, the best sex duration is the one that you and your partner are happy with. 

It can be 10 minutes or 50 minutes, but as long as you’re satisfied and have your sexual needs met — it’s just the perfect time. 

However, if either of you is worried about the duration of the intercourse and wants it to change in any direction, then it makes sense to look into it. 

How to Extend Intimacy if Sex Doesn’t Last Long?

If you’re able to ejaculate and do it either too quickly or it takes you too long – try getting to the bottom of it. 

Perhaps a simple change in the routine, such as going for a healthier diet and moving your body more will move the pendulum. You can also check with your doctor to see if you have any deficiencies in your blood or conditions you weren’t aware of. 

Alternatively, try talking to a therapist to see if any of your sexual patterns can be worked out with them. 

The same applies to everyone else, regardless of your genitalia or sexual preferences. Trying a healthier lifestyle, checking your health, and talking to a therapist are all good starting points. 

However, those things take time. If you would like to see a quicker change in your sex routine, try some of the tips and tricks below. They will not just extend the act but hopefully will enhance your pleasure as a bonus too. 

• Take your time with foreplay. There’s no reason why you should skip foreplay. It can be just as great as the main act itself, and it will give you a chance to explore each other’s bodies from new angles and even unlock new erogenous zones. Kiss, tease, and touch each other passionately and have the time of your lives. 
• Try different kinks before you move on to classic sex. Do role-play or sensory play, or try something more advanced, such as wax play or restraint. 
• Take breaks. If arousal becomes too much or you’re growing tired of having sex with no visible outcome, try pausing for a bit. Spend this time slightly touching each other or exploring your bodies with eyes only. Grab a drink, get yourself a little snack, regroup, and continue a bit later. 
• Switch positions. Some sex positions are too hot, and you can slow the process or escalate it by changing things up a bit.
• Adjust the rhythm and depth to get a new feeling and change things up. 
• Work on pelvic floor muscles. The stronger they are, the more endurance you get and the more control over ejaculation you have. You can also try to squeeze and relax those muscles during the act to help yourself delay or accelerate orgasm. 
• Use condoms to reduce sensitivity. There are many options of thicker condoms or condoms that have a numbing fluid added that cools things down there. 

When it comes to sex, quality will always matter more than quantity or duration. Every time you do have sex, make sure it’s unforgettable for both of you. Once you fall in love with the process, you’ll be more inclined to try creative things, look for ways to extend the pleasure, and have a wonderful time with your lover. 

Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of communication. Talk to your partner more about anything and everything, including sex. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better your relationship and, consequently, the better your sex life.