What Is Soft Ghosting?
So, have you heard of soft ghosting, or do you suspect you are currently experiencing it, this article will enlighten you more so you can recognize when it is happening, how it differs from traditional ghosting, and how to respond when it happens. So, let’s get right to it.
What is Soft Ghosting?
Soft ghosting or slow ghosting is one of the few cases where we can’t say it is as the name implies because it is not soft on the person at the receiving end; you will feel so much confusion and frustration even more than traditional ghosting because you may not understand what is happening.
Mind you, traditional or full ghosting involves someone disappearing without explanations; it is direct, but with slow ghosting, someone slowly draws back from you. They rarely call or check up on you, respond late to your messages, and avoid spending time with you.
People do this when there is a lack of interest, they no longer feel any connection with you, and sometimes they do not intend to hurt you; they may just be afraid of confrontation.
Signs You’re Being Soft Ghosted
As expected, ghosting involves a lot of manipulation, so if you are not careful, you won’t notice it early. Hence, you need to understand the signs of soft ghosting, you should be able to recognize it so you can handle it the right way. Here are the common signs to look out for:
- Inconsistent or Non-committal Replies
One of the signs you would notice is that you will be the one reaching out to them most. They will reply to you at their convenience or not respond at all. Even when they do, they won’t be interested in having any deep conversations.
At this point, you may bring up your dating communication issues and try to resolve them, but they will still make excuses and not give a valid reason for their behavior.
- Passive Engagement
They may follow you online and engage in your posts but passively and indirectly. For example, if you post a picture on Instagram, instead of giving you a direct compliment on your inbox, he/she just throws a like button. A new study shows that passive engagement prolongs feelings of uncertainty, often leaving the person on the receiving end in an ongoing cycle of anxiety.’’ As one Reddit user lamented, “They didn’t ghost me; they just slowly stopped caring. How do you even respond to that?”
- Conversations Fade Without Clear Closure
The same person who gets excited to talk to you about everything or probably couldn’t stay a day without talking to you now has nothing to discuss with you. Even when you bring something up, they want the conversation to be over quickly, so slowly you guys just stop talking without knowing the exact reason why.
4. Sudden Avoidance of Family Meetings
Another clear sign is the abstinence of family meetings and gatherings. If you are being ghosted you will notice a less energetic approach to family meetings especially if you would be attending the meeting. Also, if you will not be attending the meeting and your partner is excited about going, it is obvious your partner is avoiding you!
How to Respond to Soft Ghosting
If you have identified the patterns of slow ghosting while dating someone, it is natural for you to feel hurt and confused, but you still need to handle it in a way that allows you to heal and move forward with your dating life. Learn how to handle soft ghosting so you don’t struggle with someone else’s shortcomings.
- Letting it Fade Naturally
The first thing that comes to mind when you realize somebody has ghosted you, is whether to ask them or to let it slide. If you confront them, you may get the answers you need and know where you stand. It will also feel so much better to express yourself and free your mind.
However, if you feel you are not up for it, you can let things fade naturally, and you won’t have to waste your energy on someone who is not showing any effort.
- Engage in Other Social Activities
Engaging in social activities, volunteering, and community service are among the efficient methods of combating ghosting. These activities detach you from the emotional burden and then keep you preoccupied with exciting adventures. Also by engaging in social activities, you learn new things improve yourself, and open up to new and sometimes better connections. Some social activities you could try are mountaineering, Gyming, Festivals, etc.
- Gradually Withdraw and Move On
Whether you confront them or not, you will have to move on, focus on your healing, and work on building better relationships with people who actually care. So if you ask them and they open up about not wanting to continue, don’t bother trying to convince them, it’s not worth it to chase someone who does not match your energy. It is better to keep your dignity intact and just leave them alone.
Even if you didn’t ask them, once you have observed their attitude and seen the signs of soft ghosting, it’s better to move on. Otherwise, you will give them more opportunities to manipulate and confuse you.
- Talk to a Therapist
Most persons debunk the therapy concept and term it orthodox. However, talking to a therapist is very efficient and important. Sometimes the problem might be psychological or medical. The therapist or expert would analyze the situation and give professional recommendations. More than 40% of partners who have reported to certified therapists testify of a significant change and betterment of their relationship.
Root Causes of Slow Ghosting
According to research, about 84% of Gen Z and Millennials have experienced it at some point, and the majority of them have ghosted other people. Once people experience the discomfort of being ghosted, they might unconsciously adopt the same behavior as a self-defense mechanism, thinking that it’s better to disengage first than risk emotional harm. Could this be the main cause of this problem? Here are a few causes of this challenge:
- Past Experiences
Past experiences are the main cause of intermittent ghosting! People who are victims of ghosting either in school, at home, or community, tend to repeat the same trend by ghosting other people. Before dating you must carefully study your partner’s past to know if there are traces of these traits.
- Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem
Insecurity plays a major role in slow ghosting. Whenever a partner is jealous instead of communicating and asking the right questions, insecurity might just creep in and this could lead to dating communication issues.
- Stress and External Pressure
At some point, you may also find yourself halting communication with your partner for different reasons, but that is certainly not the approach to modern dating! Snubing and going mute only causes emotional tension.
When you start talking with someone or start dating them, politely tell them how you feel at every point in time, and be clear about what you expect from them while dating. This will enable your partner to understand your needs and adjust also. It is also important you see a therapist before cutting communication access. Always remember to be honest, direct, and unperturbed by stress and external pressure, this will help foster a stronger relationship.
Conclusion
In all honesty, slow ghosting is difficult when you have been ghosted and have no idea of the cause of the problem; you keep assuming what the problem could be and even try to reach out to your partner countless times. But all this is because you don’t understand how to handle soft ghosting; now that you do, you can carefully address this dating issue with less trauma and emotional difficulty.
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