Understanding of Exclusive Relationships

Exclusive relationship refers to a relationship clause where both lovers agree not to be involved in any other sexual or romantic relationships and to focus solely on each other. “Simply put, dating exclusively means both people are only focused on one another, emotionally and sexually. They’re not juggling other people,” says Lisa Concepcion, a certified life coach and founder of LoveQuestCoaching.

How Exclusivity Changes Your Relationship

There’s a broad spectrum of experience you can get in a committed relationship that is not available in casual dating. Most of them are great, but some may require additional patience and time to navigate. So here’s how exclusivity can change your relationship. 

Implications on the Relationship

Imagine a relationship where you can now share all your thoughts, be completely vulnerable, and express your feelings openly because you are sure you are not sharing your partner’s affection with a stranger. It’s beautiful, right? Commitment in dating can greatly enhance your connection with your partner, it deepens the emotional intimacy between couples, further enhancing trust and security in your relationship. 

However, as awesome as this sounds, it is better to start with a trial period of exclusivity to see if it is something you both will enjoy and are compatible. It’s okay to explore exclusivity briefly before making a permanent decision. 

Impact on Mental Health

You cannot deny the place of your human emotions in any relationship; the idea of sharing a partner can sometimes make you feel jealous, you may feel like you are not enough, and even fear losing them to someone else. However, transitioning to a monogamous relationship can foster emotional stability, trust, and peace. In a monogamous relationship, you will no longer be scared of the unknown, and there will be no more competition. It provides a secure environment for growth. 

But you may also experience pressure and anxiety from a constant need to meet your partner’s expectations in terms of attention, support, communication, loyalty and so on. Hence, you need to take things slow and give each other time to build trust and improve on your approach to commitment. 

Signs You’re Ready to Be Exclusive

To avoid ruining the simple things you already have, let’s take a look at the signs you’re ready for exclusivity. 

• Spending Significant Time Together and Integrating into Each Other’s Lives

If you find yourself spending so much time together and getting involved with various activities in your partner’s life, you think about him/her continuously, then it may be time to take things deeper in your relationship. 

• Successfully Navigating Conflicts and Resolving Disagreements

At the beginning of a relationship, you will hardly have any conflicts. Many chemicals are running around, so you are always excited, but when you get to know them a little more, you start to see their flaws, and then disagreements will set in. How you navigate these issues and move ahead swiftly will determine if you are both ready for commitment in dating. 

• Lack of Interest in Pursuing Other Romantic Connections

Genuine feelings of love in a romantic setting cannot be shared with more than one person, so one of the signs you’re ready for exclusivity is that you begin to lose interest in other romantic connections; you can’t tell your heart who to love, so it comes naturally. 

• Willingness to be Vulnerable and Share Personal Aspects of Life

When you can finally open up about personal details of your life without fear of being a burden, it means you are developing trust in your relationship, and it is a sign you are ready to make progress. 

“Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to protect yourself defensively,” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, New York City.

Signs You Might Not Be Ready for Exclusivity 

It is possible for your casual relationship to be going so well that you start thinking an exclusive relationship will be just as easy, and then it turns out you both are not ready or compatible. How do you know you are not ready? 

• Difficulty Envisioning a Long-term Partnership With the Person

‘’A major sign that you are not ready for an exclusive relationship is that you cannot envision yourself being with this person long-term,’’ says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD. 

Exclusivity results in long-term commitments, where you build your life together. If you don’t see yourself doing this with your partner, then you should relax and take your time. 

• Persistent Desire to Date or Engage With Others

If you still feel attracted to other people and still think there is something out there for you, then you may not be ready just yet. Maybe you should explore your options a bit more.  

• Feelings of Uncertainty or Reluctance About Deepening the Commitment

When it comes to matters of the heart, your instincts are mostly correct; if you feel uneasy about transitioning to a monogamous relationship for any reason at all, then you are not ready. 

Making the Transition to Exclusivity

So you have someone you like, you think about them a lot, you may have gone out a couple of times and explored a lot of interests together, yet you have not defined the relationship. If this is you, then here is how you can make a smooth transition to exclusivity. 

1. Communication 

You should be on the same page with your partner; don’t make assumptions. So, discuss your expectations and goals for exclusivity before you decide. This way, you will be sure both of you want the same things. But how do you initiate the conversation? 

• Have the conversation in person and choose the right timing and setting. 
• Start from your perspective; explain how you feel and what you want. 
• Listen carefully to your partner’s perspective and response. 
• Respect and accept the outcome of your conversation. Don’t argue or try to force anything.

2. Setting Boundaries 

Being exclusive means you will both be loyal to each other, and if any of you is found in any romantic affair with someone else, it is considered a breach. So, you must set boundaries with other people both in person and on social media; do not interact with them in ways that will make your partner uncomfortable. 

How to set boundaries

• Discuss your likes and dislikes early, so your partner will follow some rules and not be hurt when you talk about them later. 
• Be firm and specific about your do’s and don’ts. A soft approach will ultimately make your partner downplay your rules  
• Reinforce at all times. Boundaries are not just set, they are followed up and reinforced for full compliance.

3. Managing Expectations 

In an exclusive relationship, you are first expected to stay faithful to your significant other. You will also need to invest more in communication, and this is not just talking; you have to care about their emotional needs and interests and support them in every way possible.

How to manage Expectations

• Discuss your needs and what you both want from the relationship. This should be the first step.
• Compromise is key. Be open to little compromises.
• Set your expectations together. By setting your expectations together, your differences would slowly dissolve.
• Time solves all things. You and your partner should give each other time to adjust to your new reality.
• Lastly, lower your expectations. There are some things you will have to let go. 

Is the Future of Dating Exclusivity?

Is Exclusivity the best form of modern dating and romance? This question remains unanswered, especially with a new trend — explorationship! However, an online dating pool revealed that couples who practice exclusivity are happier and emotionally stable. It may come with some pressure since you now have many responsibilities to your partner, it gives you comfort and happiness to know that someone is in your corner, ready to love, care, and support you any day, anytime. 

Partners must prepare adequately with the right information and be ready to put it to work. Not just one person, but both people have to be ready to put in the work. Try to communicate clearly with him/her and know what they want from your relationship. Exclusivity is a personal decision; don’t be pressed into it for any reason; ensure it aligns with your emotional needs and relationship goals. Also, do not pressure your partner into an exclusive relationship, allow them to decide on their own. That way, they can match your energy, and you will have a blissful experience together.