A Guide to Temperature Play
Ever wondered what it feels like to be hot and cold, just like in the hit song by Katy Perry? Well, do we have news for you! If you’d like to experiment with temperatures in the bedroom, there’s a kink out there calling your name – temperature play.
In today’s beginner’s guide to temperature play, we will explain the kink and its tips, tricks, and techniques, and share recommendations for exploring temperature play ethically.
What is temperature play?
Temperature play is among the many kinks people try in their bedrooms (or anywhere else). It is often considered one of the BDSM practices, although not everyone would agree.
As you can guess from its name, the kink relies on the change in temperatures and incorporates both hot and cold into intimacy. There’s a lot of variety to the kink, and levels of intensity range greatly as well.
Temperature play tools
Temperature play requires you to use additional tools to make the most of the kink, but those tools don’t have to be elaborate and intense. You can easily incorporate the things you have at home.
Here are a few tools to enjoy all the benefits of temperature play.
For cold sensations:
- Ice cubes are an evergreen hit with temperature play. Use them to create a tingling, shocking effect. Carefully apply to erogenous zones and areas nearby, as they irritate sensitive skin. Try it on safer zones first.
- Cold metal objects, such as spoons, vases, or jewelry, create a softer chilling effect. Combine this with gifting jewelry for a maximized surprise and pleasure effect. Imagine gifting your special someone a bracelet and wrapping it over their genitals first, or even putting it on their hand without them realizing what’s happening. You can cover their eyes with blindfolds for an ultimate sensory experience.
- Frozen fruit is another classic that you can eat once you’re done playing. Putting fruit in your mouth after it’s been in different places is intensely erotic.
- Products with menthol, such as cooling lubes, will also do wonders. You can put the cooling lube in the fridge anyway, but you can also rely on menthol to extend the refreshing effect even after it has warmed up from standing by your bed.
For warm sensations:
- Warm breath is a great starter! You don’t need to grab anything and spend money; you just always have it. Follow up with it after applying something cool on your partner for maximized effect.
- Candle wax is another popular tool, and wax play is a kink in itself! If you like the initial experience, explore all the options. Try to find low-temperature wax candles that melt more easily and are safer.
- Massage oil warmed up by the candle or your arms is a strong hit. It also gives you an excuse to explore your partner’s body and help them relax with your slow, sensual motions.
- Hot stones are used for spa treatments and are great in the bedroom. Place them around strategically, and be careful with genitals and other sensitive zones – make sure the stones are not too hot and won’t hurt your lover.
- Heated towels and blankets are perfect, too! They create a cozier, softer feel, ideal for gentler love-making sessions.
Those are the most used, easily accessible tools, but you are always welcome to get creative and experiment with something else. Ensure you’re careful, as it’s relatively easy to hurt someone with temperature play.
Why do people enjoy temperature play?
If the central question for you right now is not how to explore temperature play but why, we’re happy to share all the main reasons why people fall for it and make it a steady part of their sexy routines.
Sensory play is a very common kink. New sensations create unique experiences, and you can feel something different under unorthodox circumstances that greatly turn you on.
Some enjoy the pain element of the kink where they get the thrill from the first few seconds of their bodies interacting with hot and cold tools. The pleasure quickly replaces the physical shock that you get at first, and arousal comes back at full strength, if not greater than before.
Temperature play borders on sexual masochism, and you get to experience it in a consented environment with low risk to your physical and mental health. It’s a bit like taboo exploration, where you try something that many would frown upon and get to do it in a chill form with someone you trust.
But please don’t think that temperature play is just for those who are eager to hurt themselves and enjoy pain, because that’s not true. There are many milder versions of the kink where you won’t even call the sensation you get pain, but rather tingling.
Safety and consent tips for temperature play
Temperature play can be intense if you get carried away, so some safety rules should be followed.
Also, just like with any other kink or sex in general, getting consent is paramount. Yes, even if you’ve been with your partner for a while and had sex many times before. Whenever you’re implementing something new in the bedroom, checking with your lovers ensures you’re not offending or hurting them by accident, and everyone feels valued and respected.
As you start the conversation about consent, make sure to cover the basics:
- The consent itself confirms that everyone is happy to proceed. Make sure the consent itself is enthusiastic, informed, and voluntary. Pressuring or begging someone into trying a kink is not consensual by default. Also, make sure the partner says out loud that they want to do it.
- Boundaries are the next step. Okay, you’re ready to do temperature play, but to what extent? Where can hot and cold objects be placed? What is something you’re dying to try, and something completely unacceptable?
- Safe words are essential for temperature play because someone might change their mind in the middle of the scene and feel uncomfortable talking about it. A safe word is nice and short, and there are binding rules to stop the act once it’s voiced, so it makes exiting a situation you no longer enjoy much easier. Even if you never use those safe words and phrases, having them there just in case will help everyone relax and feel more comfortable.
Once all those essentials are covered, remind yourself of the basic safety rules:
- Test hot or cold objects in safe zones first, where the skin is thicker and will not hurt as much if your tool is at an extreme temperature.
- Always start slow, with no hot or cold objects, and gradually move on to something more intense. This will kill two birds with one stone: You’ll reduce the risk of hurting someone, and you’ll let yourself or your partner’s skin get used to the sensations and build up the excitement.
- Keep a first aid kit nearby at all times. Put all the basics there, plus something to treat burns. Bonus tip: burn creams are handy even if nobody gets hurt. Those sexy plays are rough on the skin, so it’s good to treat it with a soothing cream afterward, even if there are no visible signs of irritation.
- If you’re playing with fire, keep everything under control. Tie your hair, avoid loose clothing, put away easily inflammable decor pieces and furniture, and get yourself a mini fire extinguisher. Also, note that not just synthetic materials but acrylic nails catch fire easily.
- If you’re doing something extravagant with cold temperatures that involves being in cold spaces for longer (such as cold baths, snow in the wide open, or just a cold street), prepare blankets and socks that are warm and ready to get warm once you’re done.
As you proceed with temperature play, check in during the process to see if everyone likes what’s happening. Lean into the hit techniques and tools, and discontinue something that doesn’t work well for either of you.
Getting started with temperature play
Here is a brief guide on starting with temperature play that will help you enjoy the process to the fullest.
- Start small and start slow. Apply tools to limited areas and don’t make them too hot or too cold.
- Listen to yourself and your partner to understand your comfort levels. Pace the process, as the skin can take some time to react.
- Choose tools that are easily available and also safe. Once you fall in love with the kink and practice it more, you can start using and purchasing more advanced tools, but it’s not necessary at the start.
- Use contrasts. Alternate between hot and cold to heighten the pleasure and create a unique experience.
- Talk to each other. The kink doesn’t need to be silent, and it’s good if you share what you like and what to do next, and encourage each other whenever necessary.
Overall, you don’t need much to start! Temperature play is relatively simple and enjoyable, so don’t overthink it. Try it once to see if you like it, and remember that it can be practiced with someone or alone. Don’t deprive yourself of the fun if you don’t have an adventurous partner yet.
Tip: Flure is the go-to place to find open-minded kink-loving singles. Sign up today and see for yourself.
The aftercare for temperature play
Temperature play is hot and thrilling, but can traumatize the person trying it, especially for the first time. Once you’re done and everyone is either warmed up or cooled down, take a few minutes to chat and discuss how it went.
Discuss what you liked and didn’t like, share ideas and suggestions for the following sessions, and discuss anything unpleasant. It should not happen again if either of you felt uncomfortable this time.
FAQ
Is temperature play normal?
Temperature play is a relatively innocent kink that you can try anytime, anywhere to break the routine and experience new sensations. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as you’re practicing it carefully and everyone consents.
What are the main temperature play safety tips?
The key safety tip is staying away from extremes unless you’re super proficient with the kink. Use something too hot or too cold and you’ll easily hurt yourself or your partner. Be careful and start slow.
Who is the temperature play for?
The beauty of the kink is that it’s not niche at all, and it’s easy to get started with. Many people enjoy the cold and hot sensations on their bodies, so it’s safe to suggest it to your partners.
