How to Finger a Girl the Right Way

Well, you’ve come just to the right place! Today, Flure is sharing all the do’s and don’ts and how’s of fingering a girl. Buckle up!

What Does it Mean to Finger a Girl

his is an erotic stimulation of vulva, vagina, clitoris, and anus. It can be a separate act or a part of a more elaborate intimacy routine. You’d use only your fingers (no tongue, penis, or sex toys) to get her to feel all the good feelings, and if she orgasms as a result – well isn’t that a great bonus!

Female Anatomy: Know Your Girl Before You Finger Her

Fingering a girl is an art form, and it’s best to come prepared, i.e., know your girl’s anatomy and understand what’s located where.

Here are the key parts that you’ll be playing with. 

Externally her vulva consists of:

• Clitoris and clitoral hood – little bits at the top of the vulva that create a super sensation when stimulated right. 
• Labia majora and labia minora protect everything good inside. 
• Urethral opening is where the pee comes out.
• Vagina sits right under the urethral opening and that’s where you’ll go with your fingers at some point.
• Anus that is not a necessary part of the fingering routine but can be utilized if you guys are both up for it.

Internally we have:

• Clitoris (part of it is inside)
• Urethra and bladder
• Vagina 
• G-spot inside the vagina but close to the outing 
• A-spot that sits much deeper in the vagina
• Cervix at the very end/bottom of the vagina
• Anus, the internal part of it 

Pre-Fingering Your Girl To-Do List

The perfect fingering session looks effortless and creates a lot of pleasure for both partners. Yet, there’s usually some preparation behind the scenes that makes it happen. 

Before you get right to it, here are a couple of things you must or should do to create the best atmosphere.

1. Get her consent. The absolute must for any sexy activity is enthusiastic and knowledgeable consent from both lovers. Make sure you ask her even if you’ve been dating for a while, even if you’ve had sex already, and even if you think it will be fine. Don’t worry about it ruining the mood, it’s actually really sexy when someone respects your rights and body autonomy. Please make sure you’re not begging or nagging to finger her because if you do, and she says yes, it’s not really consent. 
2. Set the scene. Fingering is obviously very intimate, and your girl might need time to relax into the process, so let’s make it comfortable for her from the start. Do all the basics, such as dimming the light and turning on soft music, but also lower the curtains, get a couple of candles lit up, and throw a bunch of pillows and blankets around. 
3. Stock up on lubrication. Having some lube lying around is a good idea in any case as you never know when you’re going to use it. Even if your lady is nice and wet, adding some lubrication to the mix will do everyone good. The key goal of lubrication is to reduce friction and enhance pleasure, and it’s really good at doing both. 
4. Get into the shower, and we mean everything shower. Your hair, your body, your special parts, everything needs to be fresh and squeaky clean. Even if you only end up fingering her and nothing more, you’ll feel more confident yourself and show respect and care for the girl you’re with.
5. Manicure your hands. Private parts are very sensitive, right? The last thing a girl wants is a scratch by a nail that’s too long or skin that’s too rough. If you can’t or don’t want to go to someone for a professional manicure, do it at home, but take care of those hands. 
6. Get the aftercare package. Once you’re done playing, you will be able to relax, cuddle, and chill together. Get some snacks and drinks beforehand, so you can enjoy them immediately after. Make sure there’s a blanket you can cover yourselves up with for extra comfort. Have your laptop or TV on standby with something cozy or funny to watch. Sure, you can do all those things and order food last minute, but if you want to signal that you care about her, it’s better to do those things in advance. 

Key Techniques for Fingering a Girl 

Once your sexy playground is all ready, and you’ve done everything to set yourselves up for success, focus on the girl. 

Keep your fingers away for now! Kiss her a lot, cuddle, touch her sensually, explore other erogenous zones but ignore the main one. To make her really go crazy, massage her thighs, kiss them, move up with your lips and hands straight up to the vulva, and then go back down. 

At some point, she might actually start begging you to get down to it, and that’s when you know she’s ready. However, you don’t have to wait until she becomes desperate, just make sure you spend enough time warming her up, so she can thoroughly enjoy the main act when it’s time for it.  

Here are the key techniques to use to make your girl super happy with your fingers.

#1 Work That Clitoris

Clitoris rubbing is always a valid thing to do. This is your go-to method to give her an orgasm and to make the sensations ten times stronger for your fingering routine. Some women will struggle to get a clitoral orgasm, but all of them will enjoy a good stimulation. 

The best part – you don’t need to have some elaborate technique to give her an orgasm, simply rubbing it will do a lot.  

If you’re not sure what she likes the most, try everything and see what causes her to tremble the most. Rub it: 

• Up and down 
• Side-to-side
• Circular 
• Diagonally 
• Press lightly

Also, play with intensity – some like it rougher while other women prefer a more gentle approach to their clit. 

Some women’s clitoris is way too sensitive, so working on it directly might hurt a bit. If you think that’s what’s happening with you, go for a clitoral hood instead. You can gently squeeze it or massage it for a stronger sensation, but don’t press it too hard or you’ll cause her pain.

#2 Up-and-down Across the Vulva

The second technique you can try is stimulating the entire length of the vulva up and down with one or multiple fingers. Use some lubrication to create an extra nice feeling and help your fingers slide without any trace of discomfort. 

Here too, try different levels of pressure, sleep, and intensity to find out what works for your girl the most. 

#3 Play with the secret spot 

Just above the urethra, there is a secret spot (sometimes referred to as U-spot) that can also be very pleasing to some women. 

Not everyone will find U-spot stimulation pleasing, so drop it if you do it for a few minutes and realize that she’s not exactly excited about it. 

As you work on this secret spot, move your fingers just above the urethra in a motion that is similar to an upward-facing arrow, or as if you’re starting to write capital letter A. 

#4 Focus on the labia

Labia is often underloved during fingering, but it can add to the experience and expand the variety of pleasure she gets. Also, if you’ve been going at her for a bit and her vagina and clit need a break, you can focus on moving your fingers up and down along the labia, rubbing them gently to help her other sensitive areas cool down before jumping in for round two. 

#5 Curl Your Fingers 

As you make your move along the vulva and reach the vagina, swing your fingers inside and curl them upward to stimulate the G-spot. Start with just one finger, then add the second one for a stronger sensation. 

#6 Don’t Ignore the Anus (If She Likes It) 

Fingering is not just reserved for her vulva, anus can be a part of the play as well.

Note: You must always get a separate consent for anus fingering. Many women are against any form of play with their behinds, and you’ll seriously cross their boundaries and cause discomfort if you simply do it without double-checking with her first. 

Anal play can be a very pleasant thing on its own, a nice addition to front-area fingering, or foreplay for anal sex. 

When you start, be extra careful as it’s easy to cause pain even if you’re being relatively slow and gentle. Also, pair it with stimulating her clit or vagina to help her relax into the process. 

Don’t mix the fingers between anus and vagina. The last thing we need is anal bacteria in her vagina. If you’re going back and forth, wash your fingers, switch fingers up, and use a dental dam for extra protection. 

Bonus Tips 

Here are a few more tips to add to your techniques and the overall fingering experience. 

1. Always start slow and move the speed and intensity up gradually. Women take time to warm up to fully enjoy what’s happening, so don’t rob them of proper pleasure with too aggressive fingering from the start. 
2. Talk to her – ask what’s good, what’s not, or what she wants you to do next.
3. Change things up every once in a while to expand the coverage for stronger pleasure and to find out which movement makes her heart rate go up the most. 
4. Mix and match with kissing, holding her body parts firmly, nipple play, and even sex toys if you both are up for it. 

What Not to Do When You’re Fingering a Girl

Here are some of the don’ts of fingering that you should avoid for best results. 

• Not washing hands
• Skipping foreplay
• Roughing it up too soon 
• Going too fast
• Not using lube
• Ignoring her body language
• Stopping suddenly 

Signs Your Girl Likes Your Fingering Style 

You do all the work, try all the techniques, and put your heart and your soul into the process, but how can you tell if the girl actually enjoyed it? 

Sometimes the girls say they liked something when they actually felt lukewarm about it because they don’t want you to feel bad.

So if you want to get better for the next time and fix your mistakes, watch out for these signs that will indicate that she’s really enjoyed what you were doing.

1. She orgasms. If she orgasms, then you know you did a good job, congrats! It’s also a good sign if she gets close to an orgasm. Climaxing with fingers alone is not always easy for women, so her being close to that is great news. 
2. Continuous heavy breathing and moaning. Sure they can be exaggerated, but if you don’t get any of them at all, then that’s not exactly great. 
3. Her body reacts in different ways, such as her pressing into your touch, moving rhythmically alongside you, arching her back, and throwing her hands or legs around. Trembling is another giveaway of her enjoying what’s going on. 
4. She’s moving your hand, guiding you, or telling you what to do. All those things, contrary to what you may think, indicate that she’s enjoying the process. 
5. You sense her getting wetter as you go. If you lean into lubrication a bit too much, you might not be able to spot where the wetness is coming from initially, but if you go on and notice that you’ve not added lube for a while, and she’s still nice and wet – there you go, it’s her body telling you you’re doing the right thing.
6. She’s trying to be closer to you, such as holding you, pulling you in, grabbing you. 

Last but not least, if your lover asks you to go on and doesn’t want you to stop, then you know you’re doing something right. Women would not want to extend any process that’s not bringing them joy. If she’s screaming for you to keep going, do it, and make that girl happy.